It's been a rather quiet and unproductive day today. I haven't felt much creativity or motivation today. Some of it has to do with the fact that today is my Father's Birthday. We lost him just over 20 years ago but no matter how long ago it was, he is still my Father. I have offered advice to others who have lost someone special. Although condolences and compassion are how we express ourselves, the pain you suffer is something only time can help with. As time passes, you learn to accept it, and come to terms with it. Over time, it does get better, but it never goes away. Hearts sometimes don't mend. Sometimes they just adapt to a new change and accept it as an unfamiliar coping mechanism. We do what we have to to keep pushing on. Sometimes it snowballs into other thoughts and emotions. I'm also missing someone very dear to me. She was never mine to lose, but sometimes those situations can be just as real. A heart wants to be where a heart wants to be.
I'm trying to be productive, just so something positive continues to move me forward. Because of the current travel bans, I feel like I'm frozen in time. I still try to compose music that reflects my current status, but I don't want my music to sound like it's repeating itself. Until the time that my thoughts are clearer, I'll be posting less, both here and social media. It may be a day, a week, who knows. I don't want to post any 'drama' as there are many out there who refuse to see the full circle of life, so it's best I stay low-key for now.
6/16/21: I have been a bit active on social media, but 99.99% of the world has no idea, nor does it matter to them. I'm still upbeat and kind. I persevere and try to make the best of an unusual situation. I'm like that in real life, but sometimes I have to wear a 'happy mask' so they don't notice. I will leave it at that, and just say Good night to you, and I hope your day is well 😇
7/3/21: Overall, today was productive. I posted a new music track, worked on another track, worked on my book(s), caught up on my bills, added more designs to my shirt shop, and was interactive on social media. As the day winds down, I then have too much time to think. I'm thinking about a few things that always seem to be there. Besides missing my Crush, I tend to dwell on my Legacy. I have about 70 musical tracks distributed on the net that is very slow at gaining any traction. My investments are acting just like the stock markets are doing 📉. I'm childless, and being old and single, it now seems inevitable that I will remain so. I'm not trying to be negative. I'm still very optimistic about my future. There is still much to do, and I am very confident in my abilities. I'm still trying to leave my mark on the world, but that is easier said than done these days. Like many people, I make an effort to leave the world better than I found it, and that happens one day at a time. If I leave no legacy behind, at least I will go knowing I did what I could.
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